The Day When All Was Not Normal
by Naheka and Joe the Nazgul
Summary: The title says it all. The first chapter is the only one that is meant for pure humor. The rest slowed down because I was deprived of my daily marshmellow dosage....and..yeah. Read and review please! Finished story.


Disclaimer: Naheka's mine, the silver is too. C-chan, Jackie, and Megan are real people who own themselves. Everyone else goes to Tolkien.  
  
The Day When All Was Not Normal  
  
  
  
It was a perfectly normal day in Middle Earth….okay, so there never is such a 'perfectly normal' day in Middle Earth but oh well…..anyways… it was a day in the life of Middle Earth. The four hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, were hanging out in the Shire.  
  
As usual, Pippin was scavenging for mushrooms, Merry following closely behind just in case his companion got into any trouble, Sam was staring aimlessly up at the sky, and Frodo was asleep.  
  
"Ouch!" said Frodo as he suddenly felt something slap his forehead.  
  
"What is it Mr.Frodo?" cried Sam, beginning to panic.  
  
"Nothing serious," said Frodo looking around to see what had hit him. He groped around his head and found a round, blue, disc with a small hole through it. He picked it up and held it high. "What's this?"  
  
"I don't know." Said Merry who was holding Pippin by the trouser straps because he nearly fell over trying to get a particularly large mushroom.  
  
"WOAH!" said Pippin, waving his arms around to keep his balance. Alas, he failed and fell backward on top of Merry, who collided with Sam, who nearly flattened Frodo, and they all landed in the grass.  
  
"ouch." Said Frodo, the disc still in the air.  
  
Suddenly, another thing fell out of the sky.  
  
A silver contraption came from above, hit Pippin on the forehead, bounced off and hit Merry before it whacked Sam and landed on Frodo who flinched, causing the disc to escape from his finger and land on top of the silver item that had rested on his forehead.  
  
There was a click, and then:  
  
  
  
"She's a freak and I'm a cheif head banger with the top down low on the flow  
  
cause your so fresh (fresh!) like b-boys with vests like runners cause ?  
  
hehehehe"  
  
"What?!" said Merry while three hobbits sprang up and backed away from the singing silver.  
  
"I run like the breeze," sang the silver. "to catch this life but sometimes get a need  
  
There's truth, I go, there's a rhyme, I will tell it A story, on the planet  
  
Missy come in and I landed! Well where did she come from?"  
  
Sam, Pippin, and Merry stared down at Frodo, who was still on the ground, the silver on his head, with a terrified look on his face. (that's everyone's que to swoon over his eyes).  
  
"Get it off!" he whispered.  
  
Pippin moved forward cautiously and Sam handed him a long stick. Pippin poked the silver. It continued to sing.  
  
"This is a creature of powerful magic!" he exclaimed.  
  
"You sound like Gandalf" said Sam.  
  
"I know."  
  
"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" screamed Frodo as the silver started to sing 'get ur freak on get ur freak on'.  
  
Merry rushed over and gave it a good kick.  
  
  
  
A very good kick.  
  
The silver left Frodo's head as they watched it fly through the sky and over the landscape, where it landed in…..Isengard.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
"Okay so anyways," said Saruman to Gandalf outside in the gardens. "So I like, looked for a whooooole hour in the shoooooop, and then I asked the lady, and she like, said that, like, there was no such color nail polish as Orc earwax, so then I like, got mad, and like yeah!"  
  
"Fascinating." Muttered Gandalf grumpily.  
  
Then, the silver came flying from the Shire and knocked off Gandalf's hat.  
  
" MY HAT!" he shrieked. Gandalf sped to his hat, ignoring the clicking sound from it and examined his hat closely. There was .98 of a centimeter of string hanging from the brim. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shut up you infernal click!" he tossed out the silver.  
  
Saruman abandoned Gandalf and his hat to look at the silver. It started to sing again.  
  
"Illuminati, a secret society do exist."  
  
Saruman gasped "I KNOW THIS SONG!" he immediately got up and started to dance. "Illuminati-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti!"  
  
A hoard of Orcs came and jumped in front one by one then started to dance like the 50's.  
  
"Everyone wait!" shouted Saruman. "The best part of the song is coming up!"  
  
The music got more intense, the signal of the 'best part'. Saruman was just about to turn up the volume when suddenly, Gandalf came running through the crowd of dancing Orcs, screaming "MY HAT! MY POOR HAAAAAATT!!!"  
  
He rammed straight at Saruman, causing Saruman to fall backward and thrust the silver very high up in the air.  
  
  
  
Very high up in the air.  
  
Where it landed in…..Gondor.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
"Naheka?" said C-chan. "We aren't supposed to be in this fic."  
  
"I know we aren't. My computer glitched so now we're stuck here until the official 'THE END!!!' is printed at the end of this story."  
  
"How do you know all of this?" asked Boromir.  
  
"I'm the author. I know ALL things." Said Naheka.  
  
"Why do YOU know everything?" said Megan.  
  
Naheka was just about to reply when the silver came flying at her face.  
  
"Let's see if I can make this work."exclaimed C-chan as she snapped her fingers.  
  
Legolas appeared out of nowhere and landed right in front of Naheka, which meant he would be-  
  
"Ooh!" flinched Jackie. "That's gotta' hurt!"  
  
Megan fell over laughing, C-chan sweat-dropped, Boromir fainted, and Naheka started freaking out.  
  
"WAKE UP!" Naheka screamed in Legolas's face.  
  
"Just throw him in the water like you usually do!" said C-chan.  
  
"C-chan," said Naheka, glaring at her. "Look around. What do you see?"  
  
C-chan stood up and turned her head. "I see no water for the next 5 miles."  
  
"Exactly." Said Naheka, refocusing her attention on Legolas who was still dazed.  
  
"Kiss him!" laughed Jackie.  
  
"Like you did last time!" said Megan.  
  
" Last time?" said Naheka.  
  
"You know," said Jackie starting to laugh again.  
  
Naheka was still lost.  
  
"Well, I don't have anymore tissues if his nose bleeds again." Said C-chan.  
  
"Eh?" said Naheka and Legolas who had just woken up.  
  
"Woken up?" said C-chan, looking up at the last line. "Shouldn't you reagin consiouness instead?"  
  
"No," said Boromir, getting up. "I'm the one who fainted, so I'm the only who can regain consiousness."  
  
"So you regained your consionce?" asked Jackie.  
  
"Nope." Said Boromir as he flung himself back on the ground.  
  
"Um…." Said C-chan, tilting her head. "We're losing track of the story."  
  
"Oh yeah," said Jackie. "what hit your head Legolas?"  
  
"This." Said Legolas, lifting up the silver.  
  
"That would be a CD player." Said Megan.  
  
"Play it!" exclaimed Boromir.  
  
" You regained-" began Jackie, but then Boromir fell over again.  
  
Naheka took the CD player and opened the lid.  
  
"Tomb Raider." She read aloud. "MY FAVORITE!"  
  
She pressed the button, sat down, and relaxed. "Get up Boromir."  
  
"Aw," whined Boromir, standing up next to Legolas. "You didn't fall for it?"  
  
"Nope," said Naheka, now crossing and extending her legs. "Now let's see you two dance."  
  
"Dance?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Move to the music." Said Jackie, assuming the same position as Naheka.  
  
"How do you do that?" said Boromir.  
  
"Just do whatever!" exclaimed Megan as she snatched the CD player from Naheka and pressed 'PLAY'.  
  
The CD player went:  
  
"WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT?"  
  
"What is this?!" shouted Legolas, covering his ears. Boromir did the same.  
  
"Just dance!" said Jackie.  
  
"HOW?!" said the guys.  
  
"Well you could start by-" began Naheka, but Jackie couldn't stand it.  
  
"STAND UP! SIDE STEP LEFT, SIDE STEP RIGHT, CLOCKWISE CIRCLE, GET DOWN, THEN TWIST!!!" she ordered.  
  
Legolas and Boromir wasted no time in doing as they were told.  
  
"This is hard." Said Boromir as soon as the music slowed down a bit.  
  
"NAHEKA!" shouted Jackie.  
  
"HWAT!?" jumped Naheka. (no that wasn't a typo)  
  
"SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE!"  
  
"Do I have to?" whined Naheka as the music picked up it's fast beat again.  
  
"GO! NOW!" shouted Jackie, cracking her knuckles.  
  
"GEEZ! ALRIGHT!" said Naheka as she got up and did her work.  
  
Everyone simply watched.  
  
~*~  
  
"Woah." Said Boromir after the song had ended. "You can actually do that with the human body?"  
  
"YUP!" shouted Jackie.  
  
Naheka got up and dusted herself off. She looked up.  
  
"Legolas, is your nose bleeding?"  
  
Legolas was about to ask for a tissue when Gandalf came charging through!  
  
"MY HAT! MY HAT! MY HAT!" he shrieked as he quickly passed through, once again, knocking over the CD player.  
  
Knocking it really hard.  
  
It landed in…..Mordor.  
  
~*~  
  
"Mr. Snuggles? Mr. Snuggles?" called Sauron as he searched for his long lost teddy bear that was actually hiding under the pillows of the couch…..which Sauron accidently burned last week.  
  
"Have you found Master Wuggles Sir?" asked a Nazgul.  
  
"It's SNUGGLES! SNUGGLES!" he screamed.  
  
Then, the CD player came flying through the window and hit Sauron on the head.  
  
"OWIE!" he cried. "WAAAAAHHHH!"  
  
The CD player made another click and then it started playing:  
  
"I can be evil,  
  
I can be good,  
  
But I don't know if I really should  
  
I'll be evil to those jealous MCs who want to try and  
  
Imitate me  
  
Dare you step into my land  
  
Come imitate me like a foolish man  
  
And tell your friends I'm Freddy Krugar  
  
Rip out your brains  
  
The dark intruder"  
  
"AAH!" Sauron cried again. "Scary music! Turn it off! Turn it off!"  
  
But no one obeyed his command as the Nazgul were now rapping and break dancing on a cardboard box.  
  
"-Vampire Count Dracula," sang one of them. "bite your neck"  
  
"HOO HAHA!" laughed another.  
  
"Zombified now mummification-tion-tion" said a third.  
  
Then they all started dancing in synchronism to the scary Latin that really sounds like Black tounge but is really Latin.  
  
"WWWAAAAHHH!" whined Sauron. "You're not paying attention to me!"  
  
He stomped over to the CD player, picked it up, tossed it around, then threw it back out the window.  
  
Very far back out the window.  
  
Where it landed in….Rivendell!  
  
~*~  
  
"And then, and then," gasped Merry to Elrond. "It started singing!"  
  
"Evil words my lord!" said Pippin.  
  
"What kind of words?" asked Elrond in a superior tone.  
  
"Words like: Get your freak on! Get your freak on! It was evil!," whimpered Frodo. "And it touched ME!"  
  
"The most horrible thing we've ever seen!" shuddered Sam.  
  
"Where is the vile contraption then?" said Elrond.  
  
"Merry kicked it." Said Sam.  
  
"Where?"  
  
At that moment, the CD player thwacked Frodo on the head, where it bounced onto Sam, Merry, and Pippin, knocking them all out.  
  
"IT'S THE EVIL SILVER!" screamed Elrond, backing away from the CD player causing several Elf servants to tend to his aid.  
  
They all stared cautiously at it, as if it would violently explode at any moment.  
  
CLICK.  
  
"Blank stare,  
  
Disrepair  
  
There's a big black hole gonna' eat me up someday  
  
Someday fades away like a memory  
  
Or a place that you'd rather be,"  
  
"What?!" said and Elf Servant.  
  
"Some place, lost in SPACE!"  
  
"It's got a good beat." Said another Elf, tapping his foot.  
  
The others (except for Elrond) started to move to the beat.  
  
Eventually, they all started jumping up and down to the punk rock and screaming like crazy.  
  
"THIS WILL COME TRUE! HELP ME GET THROUGH! INTO YOU!" they all screamed.  
  
"AAH! The madness!" shrieked Elrond as he fled out of the hallway screaming the whole way.  
  
As Elrond exited the room, Aragorn charged in, sword drawn and chest flung out heroically.  
  
"What devillry is this?" he said in a tone that immitated SuperMan…really badly.  
  
"MY FAVORITE SONG!" screeched Arwen as she slid into the room on her knees next to the Elves, who were now playing on a drum set and several guitars.  
  
"ALL I CAN DO! PUSHING ME THROUGH! INTO YOU! DEEP! DEEP! DEEP! DEEP!"  
  
A microphone swung out of nowhere and flung the CD player.  
  
Very far away.  
  
Where it landed in……. Mirkwood?  
  
~*~  
  
"We aren't supposed to be here!!!" said C-chan to Naheka who was now staring aimlessly up at the celling.  
  
"Too bad Legolas fainted from loss of blood." Sighed Jackie. "I'd be amused to see what you two would be doing now."  
  
"They'd be singing of course!" blurted out Megan.  
  
"Nah. They'd be k-"  
  
"SHUT UP!" screamed Naheka and Legolas who had suddenly appeared in the window.  
  
"Legolas?" said Naheka getting up. "What are you doing here? Didn't you faint?"  
  
"Nope." Said Legolas 'innocently'. "I was just faking it to prove that Frodo wasn't the only one who could get attention when they were wounded."  
  
"You loser." Drawled Jackie.  
  
"Shut up." Said Legolas.  
  
"Whatever." She said, leaning back.  
  
There was a moments pause. Then Naheka went up really close to Legolas's face.  
  
"Legolas." She said sweetly.  
  
C-chan pretended to gag in a corner. The sense of romance was too strong.  
  
"Hm?" he replied.  
  
They looked deeply into eachother's eyes.  
  
Naheka blinked and said "What are you doing in my bedroom?"  
  
Legolas looked down and saw that there was a small dagger near his throat.  
  
"Boys aren't supposed to be here." She continued and kissed his cheek. "Good day."  
  
Legolas wasted no time in leaping out the window and to his own room.  
  
Another pause.  
  
"Got it!" shouted Naheka as she caught the CD player in her left hand.  
  
"THERE IT IS!" shouted Elrond who had just burst through the doorway.  
  
Naheka glared evilly at him. "Get out of my room. Go see Thranduil. NOW!"  
  
Elrond simply fainted while his servants dragged him out the door.  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
"What must we do with this evil silver?!" said Frodo.  
  
"I dunno'." Said Thranduil. "Don't ask me, I'm not king!"  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
"Oh yeah! That's right! I am king!" he exclaimed. "Well, what do you want to do with it?"  
  
"I'll keep it." Said Naheka.  
  
"Alright!" said everyone.  
  
Another pause.  
  
"Is the story over?" asked C-chan.  
  
"Yeah." Said Megan.  
  
"We have to go back?" said C-chan.  
  
"Naheka won't want to." Droned Jackie, pointing out that Naheka and Legolas were missing.  
  
"A QUEST!" Jackie shouted, standing up.  
  
"Acutally," said a voice. "it's a prank!"  
  
At that moment, speakers were turned up to the max, broadcasting  
  
"EL-E-VA-TION!"  
  
Everyone creamed bloody murder and dashed out of the room.  
  
As soon as everyone had left, Naheka and Legolas jumped down from the roof.  
  
The clapped eachother's hand and punched the air.  
  
THE EN-  
  
"WAIT!" said Naheka.  
  
She took Legolas's hand and led him to a river where she pushed him, but Legolas grabbed Naheka by the ankle before she could run away and they both fell in.  
  
THE END!!! 


End file.
